Get it here!
This Video……………
So Megan Fox did a “video shoot” during her photo shoot for Esquire magazine. We know, Megan is getting a bit overexposed right now, but damn, we just had to share this. Actually hard to believe how damn hot she is. There are some pictures from the photo shoot after the video if you’re interested, but you gotta see this video to believe it. Enjoy………………..
doneDON’T FORGET TO CHECK OUT THE MEGAN FOX “LEAKED” NUDE PHOTOS BY CLICKING HERE……………..
You know that feeling! That “I’m going to pass out or piss my pants right where I stand,” feeling? Yeah, well I didn’t have THAT. I had that “You’re a fourteen years old boy and your grandma just caught you beating off in her bathroom and makes you clean it all up as she watched,” feeling. Utter Stupidity, I felt. I did AT LEAST seven double takes in four seconds to reassure myself that I was standing in front of Megan Fox.
“Uhhhh, Uhhhh, I, I, I, I guess you could kinda say somethin’ like that,” I said back to her.
This wasn’t really happening right? I wanted to pinch or bite myself, wake up next to Nikki Hilton, vomit on my clothes and start this shit all over again. My breath was the worse it had been since I lost a dare in fourth grade and had to eat my friends, cousins’ dog shit. Terrible story for another day! My hands were as palmy, sweaty, shaking and I was STILL INEBRIATED.
“Yeah, I remember you for sure. Me and my friends watched you dance for like 10 minutes straight. I wanted to come dance with you, but I was with my guyfriend and I didn’t want it to be all awkward and shit. I’m Megan by the way.” (as if every fuckin’ human, alien and asshole didn’t know her.)
CONVERSATION WITH B.YONEST “TO” B.YONEST starts NOW!!!!
“Seriously? MEGAN FOX watched you dance, B. This is the most amazing experience you’ve ever had B. Please don’t fuck THIS one up. Your luck with girls is TERRIBLE and… Just pleaase don’t fuck this one up. You won’t be able to explain to your friends…. Wait did she call Brian Boston Bean her “guy” friend? Why didn’t she say boyfriend?”
“Because he’s not my boyfriend,” Megan said as she brought me back from my personal (but obviously broadcasted) dreamworld. I had just said ALL OF THAT OUT LOUD. She heard ever word. The “don’t fuck this up” The “Brian Boston Bean.” She heard it ALL. What an ass I’ve made of myself to the City of Santa Monica, today. Trippin’ in the street, pickin’ up weed, stealin MY backpack BACK from the bums and calling Megan Foxs’ “guy friend” Brian Boston Bean to her face. ASS HOLE!
“What’s your name,” Megan asked as she reached out to shake my hand. Normally, I kiss the hand of every girl I meet for the first time. Just a sign of respect and appreciation for women, period. There was no way in the WORLD I could shake, touch or kiss her hand right now. What the kcuf was I to do? My first “interaction” with Megan Fox and this is what I look, smell and feel like?
“I’m B,” I gasped as I shook her hand with extreme reservation. I wanted to kiss it more badly than any hand I’d seen in my LIFE, but I froze up. I was scared to leave the scent of another womans’ vagina on her, truthfully.
“B, huh? Does that stand for anything in particular B,” Megan asked. I was really exchanging in normal conversation with kcufin Megan Fox. I forgot how badly I wanted to bang her. I completely lost sight of the fact I was scrambling like chicken with his head cut off to find her just 30 minutes ago. I was chillin’ at the gym, talkin to Megan Fox.
“Yeah it stands for B.YONEST. Real name is Brian (I felt Megan Fox deserved my real name), but everyone calls me B. You can call me B DOT if you want,” I told her with a confident grin.”
We exchanged small talk (I wont bore you with all the details like me gazing at her sweaty cleavage every once in a while or me beginning to envision BEING the sweat running down her cleavage, etc), laughed a bit more about me vomiting in the parking lot. She asked if I was new to Los Angeles and what I was doing in the “City of Angels.” Truthfully it was pretty boring conversation besides the fact her nipples were rock solid, my penis to follow and I could feel my stomach churning with excitement and slowly, but surely more vomit was creeping up my throat.
CONVERSATION WITH B.YONEST “TO B.YONEST PART II
“You cannot, will not and refuse to puke in front of Megan Fox. Get it together B. Your knees are gettin weaker! B, get a drink of water from the fountain. B, don’t do this B. B! B! B!”
The next thing I remember, I was lying on my back, there were blurry faces of different colors surrounding me and I didn’t have my glasses on anymore. It was warm and the room was spinning. I could feel something on my forehead, but I felt too weak and embarrassed to reach for it or give a shit.
“You alright man,” Jason asked me as he began to lift me up. I passed out cold, PEOPLE. Fainted right in front of Megan Fox. We shared great convo, sweat together and I passed out!
“Yeah I’m good,” I responded to Jason as if I hadn’t just fainted in front a gym packed full of people. Not quite the statement I was looking to make! I slowly walked over to the water fountain, held onto the sides of the fountain dispenser (to give myself something to balance on) and sipped some water. After a few HUMONGOUS, thirst quenching gulps I looked into the mirror above the water fountain and noticed a blurry, yellow “Post-It” stuck on my forehead. I slowly reached up and grabbed the note with sincere confusion.
“Sorry I had to bail, babe. Enjoyed the laughs. Call me, B. Heart, Megan!” the note read. A ten-digit number surrounded the perimeter of the note. I was a note, NO THE NOTE, from Megan Fox. I put the note in my left pocket, walked downstairs into the locker room and took a shower.
“It’s only Noon and I’ve had the best day of my life,” I said to myself as I washed my nut sac. I may have dropped trees in the street, forgot my I-Pod, puked on my clothes, stole my backpack from homeless honky’s, chased Brian Boston Bean through the Promenade (like an asshole), brushed my teeth in Caucasian pubic hair and passed out in front of Megan Fox. BUT, I got her digits. Don’t remember when or how, but I got ‘em.
I didn’t bang Megan Fox that day either obviously, but tune in TOMORROW.. We’re gettin closer!
MY name iz B.YONEST and…. I banged MEGAN FOX!! Chapter II: PART 2
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I sprinted into the street and gathered my sac of trees. Yes, the sac of trees that got ran over by a bus, three minivans and a fat lady with a cart. Why she was in the street? I DON’T NOT, but she was. It smelled like tar, tire and fat roles, but it was the only tree I had left. My dealer was still sleeping and he lived in North Hollywood (NO-HO) which is somewhat of a far drive. Basically, if I didn’t save that eighth of trees, I was kcufed until the afternoon time. Weed dealer time, 9pm or so at best.
I walked into the Habib’s and ordered a 5 pack of grape Cigarillos. Habib noticed my sunglasses were crooked, my bag was dangling from my shoulder and my breath smelled like Nikki Hilton had a fight with Honky Love.
“Long night or did you get robbed in the alley,” Habib asked with the accent like that of the man with the red dot on his forehead. You know, Habib. (pronounced habeeeb)
“A little bit of both,” I whispered, trying not to get too close to him.
I knew what I felt like and looked like. I didn’t need reiteration from Habib’s stankin’ ass. Not to mention, I was in a hurry because I KNEW Megan was in the vicinity. She had to be. I sprinted outside and ran around the corner back into the Promenade. I searched left, I gwaked right. I jogged north toward Santa Monica Blvd and paused. I looked into Starbucks, No Megan. I walked over to the food court and looked McDonald’s, Subway and the Chinese spot I can’t pronounce for shit! No Megan. Where the kcuf was she? There is no way in the World Brian Boston Bean was in Santa Monica without the hottest woman in the Universe.. I searched the Promenade for 15 minutes, looking for those two assholes, but to no avail.. No Megan.
I figured getting eerrffed was the only thing to do. I walked back to the truck and twisted up a bleeder. Zak was laying in the truck, bouncing video from the day before. The tour of the Playboy Mansion. We received the ultimate happy ending there. The drinks @ Fred Segal with Chelsea “Lately” Handler. She’s our homie and I love to motorboat her boobs. This was all yesterday. Yes, yesterday. We’re borderline, the coolest human beings on…. EARTH, I guess. Yeah, EARTH!
“I’m going to the gym bro. For the second time, I mean. I need to shower and my balls are stuck to my leg from last night. I don’t know whether it’s Nikki or the fact I danced and sweated for 3 hours.”
Probably both, I thought to myself. Dapped Zak and was back on Ocean Blvd, walking toward Santa Monica Blvd. When I arrived @ Equinox, finally, Jason “Ari” Paulino was at the front desk. He’s a great friend of Zak and I. He pulled the ULTIMATE strings for us when we arrived in Santa Monica that intimidating first day. He swiped my card and gave me that “I know what you did last night, but we can’t talk about it now” look. Jason’s a completely different specimen at work. No eye contact! Handshakes, ONLY! Short conversation! Just the night before, we were… Well, I wont put him on blast. Moving on!
The Equinox locker room is one of the most comfortable, home warming locker rooms I’ve seen. I “YONESTLY” love that place. Next to LifeTime Fitness, it’s the best gym in the UNIVERSE. the whole UNIVERSE. Towels are clean, Showers are hot and NORMALLY everything is alright. Today was a different story. The locker room area was the biggest pigsty and smelled like forty five unshowered Habib’s. There were pubic hairs all over the sink area. No, not “face shaving pubes.” Those short, little curly pubes from some Caucasian dudes nut sac “pubes.” Today wasn’t my day. The Megan Fox God’s were DEFINITELY against me and I forgot my flippin’ I-Pod in This Thing. (our promo vehicle for the newbies and jack asses No I-Pod during my workout is like “wearing a condom during sex.” WHO DOES THAT??
There was NO WAY I was walking back to “This Thing.” I wanted to workout, shower, shave my balls, get dressed, get my coffee, smoke again and KEEP IT MOVIN.
“Fuck it, I’ll go workout,” I whispered to myself as I angrily walked towards the stairs which led me to the dreadful workout floor. Jason made eye contact with me again and rolled his eyes, seeming to disapprove the drunken slumber, but he understands. I’m a super star who smokes weed, gets drunk and bangs Megan Fox. He was just bitter because he loves Nikki Hilton and to find out she “may” have a certain scent to her private area made him ill, unfortunately.
I walked to barbell area to start with bench press. Every bench was taken. I went to the dumbbell section and thought I’d start with incline bench. No 30’s, 40’s or 50’s. What the kcuf is this? Now the Megan Fox God’s and the Workout Angels are both against me. I wanted to leave so badly, but nothing had gone right this morning so I WASN’T giving up on this one. I grabbed a medicine ball, lied down and started doing crunches. Who the kcuf starts their workout with crunches? The dude who came to the gym late, forgot his I-Pod and is too drunk to talk to normal humans. After 22 crunches, I got up, threw the medicine ball on the rack and said “Fuck it, I’m leavin.” I stumbled towards the water fountain to wash the dehydrated taste of sushi and Jim Beam from my mouth.
“Hey, aren’t you the boy who was @ Villa last night dancin’ you ass off ’til you puked in the parking lot,” a sexxy, low pitched voice said in my left ear.
I looked to my left and seven feet away from me, LOOKING RIGHT @ ME was none other than……. Megan “Foxy Megan” Fox. Showtime!!!
DISCLAIMER.. “This story is a COMPLETE act to practice my poetic license.” PLEASE DON’T TAKE IT SERIOUS, TRUE, FALSE or anything else. JUST READ IT AND LAUGH!! — B.YONEST
MEGAN FOX!! Chapter II
The next morning, I remember waking up on Ocean Blvd and smelling like Nikki Hilton. Not that, “DAMN she smells good” smell, but yet instead that “I know the bitch is famous, but she should still wash her ass” smell. I mean, I KNOW I was across the street from the Sushi spot and RIGHT next to the Ocean, BUT yuck! Zak arose from his drunken slumber, grabbed the half smoked blunt off the Barvo Condom box, took the lighter out of his left pocket and lit the wrong end.
“I’m a little drunk still,” Zak ensured me.
As if I didn’t know. We both still wreaked of liquor, not to mention my shirt had a VOMITary manslaughter stain on the chest and left arm and the back had dried up splooge on the collar. What a weird night we must’ve had. I didn’t remember shit. I was pretty sure we banged the Hilton Sisters, but I wouldn’t venture to throw the H.I.V. (h.i.v. means positive, sure, no doubt about it, FACT) STAMP of APPROVAL on it or anything.
“Yes, we did bang the Hilton Sisters,” Zak said. “Yes, you did grab Megan Fox’s ass at the club. Yes, you barfed all over your shirt and yes it does smell like dirty vijay jay in here.”
Zak and I have this weird way of answering one another’s unasked questions. THAT was a perfect example. Homie answered every drunken question reshaping my brain as we spoke. Now that that shit was out of the way, how do we get clean, get food and more importantly… HOW DO I BANG MEGAN FOX? Nikki and Paris.. “It’s Cool” but I wanted the “Box of Fox” and I was going to have it. I could still visualize Megan from the night before. Black dress (laced at the breast line SO somewhat see through), hair in a wavy pony tail (that pull my hair and bang me kinda pony tail), black heels ( so tall I could probably stab Brian Boston Bean in the artery with it) and perfect jewelry accenting all her key ingredients. MAN I LOVE MEGAN FOX!
“Today Zak.. I will BANG MEGAN FOX,” I shouted as I hit the blunt so hard I threw up AGAIN..
I got up, threw on my backpack, grabbed my I-POD, my gym clothes, wiped the vomit off my left hand and arm and headed down Santa Monica Blvd. I had no idea if I wanted coffee (from Coffee Bean.. THE BEST COFFEE SHOP, EVER) or if I wanted to head straight to they gym. (Equinox. GREAT VIBE, SEXY GIRLZ, ETC) I chose NEITHER. I headed through the Promenade towards the cigar store. I needed a Cigarillo immediately. I knew if I got eerrffed (that’s high for the dummiez), I’d feel less nauseated and I wouldn’t care that I wreaked of liquor OR the Gyro I yacked on myself. Just as I was approaching Habib’s (any convenient store, gas station 7-Eleven type of place), I turned the corner, tripped over a blind bum and fell on my face.
I-POD, gym bag, sun glasses and sac of eerrff went everywhere. Not to mention, I threw up AGAIN. What a fucked up start to the day. I gathered my things, took my sunglasses and gym bag BACK from the bum (fucker tried to steal my shit), looked to my left and saw………. Brian Boston Bean. 1/2 of me wanted to run up to him and punch him in the genitals (because I knew who he laid next to last night), but the other 1/2 was full of excitement because it could only mean one thing…. MEGAN FOX WAS CLOSE BY.. TODAY WILL BE MY DAY! I WILL BANG MEGAN FOX..
Yes, it’s true America. I am the “Brian” on Megan Fox’s vagina bone. Indeed, I sleep with her on occasion when I visit Los Angeles, California every winter. You see, I’m a super lyricist, conceptualist, crack head blogger, etc and last August, I met her for the first time. Instant attraction. (I’d have to say for us both.) We (my manager Zak and I) were walking into Villa (home of the dopest DJ, ever.. DJ EDSKI) when we stumbled across Megan and Brian Austin Green. That’s when the fun started.
I purposely slapped Megan (Foxxy Megan’s what i call her) on her ass and she made a giggle sound which told me she liked it. I think she may have thought was Brian Boston Bean (Austin Green), nonetheless, I smacked her ass. Zak gave me a high five and we kept it movin’…. We slid to the DJ stand and dapped up Edski (like good homies do), turned around and our girls Paris and Nikki Hilton were waiting for us. After Zak tongue kissed Paris and I slid my hand from up Nikki’s skirt, we felt it best to bounce to the bar. Become a “Certified Finger Banger, TODAY.)
My favorite drink in the WORLD is Grey Goose and Cranberry Juice. No, Grey Goose and Orange Juice. Is it Belvedere, Cranberry and a spalsh of O.J.? Damn, I do DO DRUGZ. Anyways, Zak and I took two quick shots of patron, a Jaeger bomb and a glass of Honky Love (Jim Beam) with a dab of Coke on the rocks. Basically, we were (as the white people say) FUUUUUUCKED UP! You can really hear a gang of white people saying that, can’t you… Okay, Okay, Moving On!
I noticed Megan was sitting in the V.I.P area with three white girls (obviously from some neck of the woods in Providence, Rhode Island or some shit), two black dudes (who both looked like the tralier trash brother of the Ying Yang Twins) and two white dudes well, who look like two white dudes. NO Brian Boston Bean. I repeat NO Brian Boston Bean.. (for you idiots, again that’s Brian Austin Green.) My penis immediately sprouted (maybe because Nikki Hilton had run downstairs, found me and was groping my balls) but I knew my ONLY chance to talk to Megan was RIGHT NOW. I calmly removed Nikki’s hand from my ball sac and walked toward the V.I.P tape. Of course, the bouncer wasn’t going to let me just walk by so I had to think fast.
“Slip him a 50 dollar bill. No dummy, slip a roofie in the drink and hand it to him. No, tell him you manage the Ying Yang Twins Cover Band and they’re waiting for you right there. Tell him your Megan’s driver for the night and you wanna….”
TIMEZ UP. I FUCKIN FROZE. WHEN I SAY FROZE, I MEAN, stiff cock, eyes buggin the fuck out of my head cuz I’m three feet from Megan Fox’s Box, FROZE! I probably could’ve pissed down my leg and not noticed it, FROZE.. FIGADEEL ME? I FROZE.. Didn’t say a word, Brian Boston Bean came back and I looked like a fuckin idiot. So that night, I didn’t bang Megan Fox. Instead, I got drunk, danced my ass off to DJ EDSKI and DJIVY sets, puked in the bathroom, took Nikki Hilton to the B.YONEST INVAZION truck and Zak and I banged the Hilton Sisters until 5am.
I REALLY did bang Megan Fox though. Come back tomorrow and I’ll tell you about it…
B.YONEST..
Megan Fox “Leaked” Photos
Washington, (ANI): Hollywood actress Megan Fox has decided not to sue the person who leaked her topless shots to the tabloids. She believes that karma will do the job for her. The ‘Transformers’ star was stunned to see her topless photos from her upcoming film Jennifer’’s Body online – and immediately considered taking legal action.
However, she said that a second glance made her realise the shots weren’t quite what they seemed. “I had booby stickers on. They make these silicone stickers that go on over your nipple,” Contactmusic quoted Fox as telling Entertainment Weekly. “If I’d been actually topless, I would have sued someone… I know who, and I never did anything about it. It’’s her karma to deal with, not mine,” she added.
Talk about your old news!! These pics were hot like a year ago. We’ve got A LOT more of Megan Fox coming up soon, but for now, here are the “leaked photos in question………………
